135 Comments Add your own

• 1. colbert  |  September 20th, 2006 at 4:29 pm

  yea…she will be missed. Let this be lesson to the Fashion world

• 2. drbukkake  |  September 21st, 2006 at 9:55 pm

  rip girl. but remember: its better to die thin than fat!

• 3. Val  |  September 22nd, 2006 at 7:27 pm

  Vapid and empty–You are both to be pitied.

• 4. chi  |  September 24th, 2006 at 7:47 pm

  Ehrm.. It’s better to be “fat” and live than to starve yourselfe to death. I’ve been anorexic myselfe, nothing fab about it.

• 5. louise  |  September 25th, 2006 at 7:14 pm

  it is disgusting that someone (yes, you drbukkake)!!!! would say that its better to die thin than fat! how could you say that. and if it’s true, then why does she look so sad on the pictures above. i feel sorry for this girl, it’s a shame she felt she had to do this to be a better more famous model. un-naturally skinny models should be banned and get treatment for their eating disorders. it’s too late for this girl, but the rest dont need to hear your stupid views you shallow, pathetic person.

• 6. Veek  |  September 26th, 2006 at 8:40 am

  Re #2: Do us all a favor and practise what you preach - hopefully we wont have to hear from you.

• 7. McPhatty  |  October 5th, 2006 at 3:52 am

  It is a shame that her diet coke and green leafy vegitables diet failed her. But seriously how can you think that is healthy in the first place. We’ve raised geniously beautiful woman without a shread of common sense. This should be a wake up call to all of us, if you want to be thinner than what your bodyframe can handle then you’re the one responsable for that. No person, job, culture can MAKE you diet. It’s a consious effort, dispite the fact that many say they can’t control those feelings. That uncontrolableness is you’re consious telling you not to do it, but you don’t know how, and can’t bring yourself to put aside your pride long enough to ask for help. When your suppressing those kinds of emotions and problems nothing you put inside of you will make you healthy. All that aside, who are we to make people live there lives, the knife cuts both ways so becareful. Who diecides the deffinition of fat. Who determins when enough is enough for that? You want to have to start paying a fat tax…..I’m still trying to figure out a way to tax being too skinny, that would fatten them up pretty quick……….. maybe we could have a yearly weigh in and by a determination of size we could say that so many pounds over your “ideal” weight cost so much money. Then we could make fat people wear certain clothes in public so as not to offend those who can be defined by numbers and formulas. Stand up for yourself and quit all the personal moralizing….;p ……..it’s nice to know that someone trying to celebrate the fact that, regardless of what caused her death, she died doing what she loved to do.
  Re #6 Veek If someone’s opinions can make you hope for the demise of another human, I wonder how long it will be before your anger will put you in a situation where your own life could be at risk. You had nothing to contribute but I fear that is a reoccuring theme in your life and it functions to fuel your desires to see harm befall your fellow
  Motorcyclists, moutain climbers, animal handlers “RID Irwin”, race car drives, and many many other professionals have gone out just like her, “Doing what they loved to do”. who was it that said live fast and leave a beautiful corpse. Ha the irony has me doubled over…

• 8. chris  |  October 5th, 2006 at 8:24 am

  “its actualy live fast die young and leave a good looking corpse”
  And it was quoted from James dean he died young lived fast but died in a horrific car crash.Oh well 2 out three aint bad

• 9. sam  |  October 5th, 2006 at 10:57 pm

  She doesnt look that thin to me- i think this was an anomoly. Maybe she had a heart defect? She just looks like a normal girl, not a model, not too thin. They are printing that this means that models who are 170- cms must be at least 52 kgs….but im about 166cms and 55 kgs, and im not thin! So…if i grew 3 cms and lost three kilos i could be a supermodel? I dont think so…thats just not that thin. Its really not. Models are hardly the height of the beauty ideal in any case- they are meant to be a moving hanger to veiw clothes on…I think real women are way sexier. We need to stop outsourcing our responsability to feel good about ourselves. I dont care if a ten foot skeleton dipped in gold walks down a catwalk in Europe- this is still my life and my body!

• 10. Liz  |  October 6th, 2006 at 6:14 am

  That’s the best I’ve ever heard it put Sam.

• 11. Stephen  |  October 7th, 2006 at 12:42 pm

  i think that you, sam and liz, are forgetting the fact that these models are people too. fair enought that there job description is a clothes hanger because that is very true. but behind all that there is a person and they shouldnt be coerced into being so thin. how would you feel if you got turned away from an office job because they said they would only hire skinny people because fat people break their chairs?

• 12. sam  |  October 7th, 2006 at 9:26 pm

  thats wat u get when u starve urself!

• 13. Violet  |  October 8th, 2006 at 3:08 pm

  I’m a korean, and I just visited here to find more about Luisel.
  I think here’s a fine place to look for cus there are only sexual comments or silly talking about thin girls under the articles in korean potal site .
  She doesn’t look that thin,, Almost every korean young girls are thinner than her. Anyway it’s really shoking to notice that a model died cus of loosing weight. That’s kinda horrible.
  The main article in korean potal site is about skinny models and ‘pro ana’, and it mentioned about Luisel. Korean netizens are interested in her right now, trying to find more about her. This must be a nice information to us.
  People says that to be skinny is dangerous in the West, but we say it’s safe and healthy to eat small and be skinny. Most of asian macrobian says that the the secret of longevity is to eat only little amount of food.
  Personally I’m 160cm and 39kg. I eat really much but I never get fatter. It’s much harder for somebody to be fatter.

• 14. bonnie  |  October 8th, 2006 at 11:10 pm

  yes it is sad that she has died, but considering there are children and people in this world who are starving because they can’t afford food, i can’t really feel that sorry for this model. maybe this is jsut weeding out the gene pool

• 15. lokmanov  |  October 10th, 2006 at 10:29 am

  The true fact is men in general had never admired skinny models under the numerous branded apparels even if they have good looks. Models of today have been misled by irresponsible modelling agencies into believing that they could make it big and famous if they could achieve BMI under 18. The sudden demise of lovely Luisel Ramos has prompted the entire fashion domains to change their perceptions about how a model should look because teenagers have the great tendency to look skinny like Kate Moss whose BMI is under 18, thus going into strict diet. We men are yearning for models who could look attractive and sexy like Beyonce Knowles, Lindsay Lohan, Sandra Bullock, Barbara Bach, Ursulla Andress or Marylin Monroe. May the soul of Ms.Ramos rest in peace!!

• 16. Lydia  |  October 10th, 2006 at 3:15 pm

  For those of you who have mentioned that Luisel does not look “that thin” - her body is completely covered up, so I doubt any of us would have any accurate perception of her body judging from these 3 pictures.
  Another point: you don’t have to be completely emaciated or skeletal to die from an eating disorder complication. That is a just a misconception. Bulimics, for example, are often in their healthy weight range or overweight. Anyone who has lived on a diet of leaves and diet coke would be likely to have an imbalance of electroytes, which would heighten their risk of heart attack. So please, quit commenting on how she doesn’t look “that thin.” The girl DIEDfor Christ’s sake! Whether or not she looks ‘thin enough’ to qualify for a diagnosis of anorexia to the untrained eye is irrelevant. The fact is that she did.

• 17. Paola  |  October 11th, 2006 at 6:58 pm

  Nuestras condolencias para su familia.
  Paola

• 18. JJ  |  October 12th, 2006 at 5:13 pm

  I’m an asian girl and I would like to comment on it. Most asians are smaller in build and size so we asians are used to slender figures. Personally, I don’t find the models nowadays that attractive because they are too thin for my taste. What I feel is that the models should have healthy glow around them. In that way, they can look more natural and have the ability to make the clothes stand out. Preferably, bustier females are much better as the clothes are molded around them, giving them the womanly figure. Take miss usa 2004 for example, she’s slim yet curvy. She looked very natural and has a ‘glow’ around her.

• 19. Bree  |  October 15th, 2006 at 4:04 pm

  This woman must have been utterly chained to the stereotypical, albeit faulty, image of female bodily perfection that is perpetuated by the media. To let something so superficial consume your life to the point of death is sickeningly tragic. It must have been living (or more aptly, non-living) Hell. I hope she is now in a place where the physical form of the body is about as important as making it to the end of the runway with chopstick legs, if only to burn a few more calories in the process. We all just want to be loved and understood, whether we “measure up” at 90lbs or 300. I wonder who the next Luisel will be. Rest In Peace.

  P.S: Isn’t it ironic how imperfection usually outlives “perfection”?

• 20. @lici@  |  October 19th, 2006 at 9:08 pm

  que su familia pueda superar ese momento dificil.

• 21. kirsten  |  October 19th, 2006 at 10:45 pm

  Does anyone else find it completely ironic that just below an article about a sad girl with a distorted idea of beauty who starved herself to death there are two advertisements telling all of us how we can “lose 18lbs in 4 days” and “burn 847% more fat”??? No wonder so many women aren’t happy with themselves when we are CONSTANTLY confronted with things telling us we should be thinner! It really makes me sick.

• 22. modelsblog  |  October 20th, 2006 at 12:21 am

  Yes Kirsten. I noticed that but unfortunately these ads are content related and managed by Google Adsense. There’s nothing we can do against it
  but for the rest I agree…

• 23. laura  |  October 20th, 2006 at 11:45 pm

  hi. i am getting through an anorexia at the moment. it is a tragic disorder and causes so many complications. i hope to get life back on track, but please note, that most of these disorders are never about food or body, that is just the persons outlet for emotions they dont know how to deal with. i hpoe the media find a more appropriate body image of real women

• 24. claudette  |  October 27th, 2006 at 8:49 pm

  hello, so sad

• 25. Beckie  |  October 30th, 2006 at 6:01 pm

  Have just read through the comments people have left, was shocked by comment #2 ‘…better to die thin than fat’. How awful is are society now that some women genuinly believe that its understandable and ok to starve urself to death-tragic.
  I only hope that soon we will be able to celebrate womens bodies the way god intended, not the way clothes designers intend.
  Why should we strive to look like skinny boys; no boobs, no bum-how is that a turn on??

• 26. Angeldust  |  October 31st, 2006 at 6:54 am

  What i don´t get it!? She´s not that skinny and she is not that beautiful to be a model in the first place, so why all the fuzz?
  I´m a western girl who live in Shanghai, and i tell you here everyone is SKINNY. When woman here applays for a job they bring their CV and on the CV they put their wight and height. Yeah thats ringt, it under the”contact info” and the avaridge wieght here is about 44kg, There aren´t many girls that are more than 50kg and when you see one it´s like. Wow look at the fat girl…
  But you know as China is getting richer the people are getting fatter so i guess that won´t be a problem in a couple of years, or will it. It all depends on the fashon industri really.

• 27. Rosanna  |  November 2nd, 2006 at 1:37 am

  DrBukkake (aka coment #2) is probably an old, sad, lonley, ugly, POS who tried to make himself feel better by bashing people online…even deceased ones. He is the type who sits on his computer and jacks off to girls cuz he cant’s get any to talk to him in real life. C’mon…with a name like “drBukkake”, we can tell right off the bat that he is miserable with himself and has to degrade women.
  Best thing to do? Ignore him like everyone in real life does!

• 28. Kitty-Chan  |  November 6th, 2006 at 8:27 am

  Look at her eyes and her face…she looks so sad…
  All that to fit someone else’s ideal of “beauty”? To “make it big”? How big is she gonna make it six feet under? I’m sorry, Luisel, that you felt you had to change. I hope your sad face and empty eyes haunts the person who told you to lose weight for the rest of their lives.

• 29. Me  |  November 8th, 2006 at 11:30 pm

  Please, provide the page with more pics of this atrocious yet magnetizing specticle. The world being full of cinism as is, yet we’re mournin over her death, no joking. Rest in peace. Respect!

• 30. ally  |  November 11th, 2006 at 2:42 am

  Re Sam #9 - sorry hun but you’re seriosly delusional. Don’t you realise that you’re comparing your bmi of about 20 with one of just under 18? 20 is the healthy aim of grown women. You are insufferable to be so presumptious as to sneer at those with difficulties. I’m 17 and have been anorexic since age 9 - I’ve been down to a bmi of 11.6 so I know what I’m talking about when I tell you that however low you are, it’s never low enough and despite these models “healthy” weights, all that you’re doing in making these comments is fuelling eating disorders as girls believe that they have to be thinner than a bmi of 18 to be skinny. You’ve obviously never been sick before so don’t comment on what you know nothing about.

• 31. kavya  |  November 12th, 2006 at 4:50 am

  this is so sad! im from india and watever ppl elsewhere might say”SKIN IS SIMPLY NOT IN ” in my country ….u know the guys dont mind if we’re a wee bit non-skeletel….but unfortunately western trends r catchin on to us…personally i think normal ppl r beautiful and its really sad that the whole of west is full of ppl who want to be more thinner and i hav to say idols like paris hilton and nicole ritchie are not setting good examples! well rip luisel

• 32. Little Britain  |  November 12th, 2006 at 6:19 am

  As usual, a tragedy has to strike for people to get off their arses and realize that there is a problem. Jean Paul Glautier (i apologize for any spelling errors) decided to show his side of the “weight debate” by having over-size model Velvet D’Amore take the runway. More of that kind of protest could be the answer to saving the lives of these girls. RIP Luisel and to all those who have suffered as you did.

• 33. COOL NERD!!!  |  November 14th, 2006 at 2:59 am

  i dont know what to say about this.

  banning over skinny model does not work… look, as far as i know, most (and I MEAN M-O-S-T 95%) of the models have a really skinny body that weigh under 120 lbs. Most are at about 105 to 113 lbs! Agencies usually accepts only tall girls, from 5′8 to 6′0. Now, by going with BMI, most will obviously fail the test, since most have a BMI 15 to 16.5…

  Although this rule seems outrageous from the model and fashion industry’s perceptive, i am surpirised to hear the tragic story of 22-year-old Luisel Ramos’s death. Thats just unbelievable, from an average person’s point of view. unbelievable… “on a diet and hadn’t eaten for three days.” Now that has PUSHED wayyy over the LINE. on a diet??? AND then not eat ANYTHING for 3 straight days (9 meals)!!! i am sure that this happens all the time, and the press/media is understating it… in other words, its worse.

  now back to the topic, the new restriction may be, in my opinion, the first step of a compromise… but fashion industry is slowly beginning to accept a “new” way to advertize their close.

• 34. em  |  November 16th, 2006 at 12:36 am

  I saw the news in my local paper, within an article about Giorgio Armani calling for “healthy” models, quote “I have never liked thin girls and I have never made them go on the catwalk”… the article was accompanied by a picture of a model on the Armani catwalk who looked about the same as the girl above, stick-thin arms and shoulder-bones sticking out and everything… it’s just all so contradictory, how’s a girl supposed to live with all the pressure and contradictory images and sub-conscious “thin-is-in” messages that we receive every day?
  Condolences to the girl’s family and friends

• 35. R  |  November 16th, 2006 at 4:59 am

  The worst thing i.m.o. about our current Western beauty ideal is that many young men are now also influenced into thinking that a beautiful woman should not have any fat on her body, or that skinny = hot. I have suffered from an eating disorder for many years (starting when I was 13 years old and my girlfiends and I were inspired to diet to look more like images of supermodels in fashion magazines- of course we also came from disfunctional middle-class backgrounds) and my one and only attempt to cure this mental disease failed because the man I loved and married could not accept me gaining weight and not being as ‘perfect’ as I was physically. Instead of helping me get better he didn’t care about me being healthy and he did not believe it was unnatural for me to be super skinny. He thought I was lazy or something but he never realized that I was simply eating and nourishing my body and brain instead of starving myself and over-exercising. I was also afraid to admit that I apparently had ‘lesser genes’ because I wasn’t naturally super skinny (although I don’t know of any women who really do absorb enough food and use no drugs and have a BMI of 15-16.5 and it has been known to me for years that models vomit and use drugs or starve themselves to be thin). The relationship problems with my ex gave a whole new meaning to a common thought among anorexics that ‘all my problems will be solved once I am skinny enough’, which is a big lie of course but I am still sick and confused. I loved him a lot and I wasn’t willing to ruin my reproductive system and bone health for him.

  The fashion industry makes me sick in that the people involved know very well they are making matters worse by creating stars from beautiful anorexic teenage girls. I.m.o, too many of the designers and magazine editors simply don’t have the brain capacity to understand the consequences and their own responsibility. They don’t care because it is all about money and authority anyway. The fashion industry is a man’s world and for men it is easier to have no fat because… THEY ARE MEN and they don’t need fat hips for their babies. I’m sure most of the fags can’t relate. Of course there are many cool homosexuals but maybe some of you know the ones I am talking about that would call a young girl fat for not being able to fit into a size 2 or for not looking like a 12 year old boy. Trust me, I have seen this happen before my own eyes and it is very common in the fashion industry.

  However, I do believe people can lose weight the right way, by eating healthy and exercising daily, by burning fat and eating enough calories so as not to lose any muscle mass. I also do believe that people can be underweight and still be healthy. For example, I am underweight and I have a BMI of less than 18, but
  I am still fertile and I have regular menses (many anorexics have amenorrhea). I also eat plenty of calories, just no junk foods or empty calories. The problem with people is that they go on dangerous crash diets when they are under pressure, and caffeine is a very, very, very dangerous drug for the heart and nervous system/ adrenals, much more dangerous than people realize, I think. Fasting should never be done without a doctor’s supervision. The most important thing is to eat every 3 hours and have breakfast. The heart is a muscle and one should not fast and metabolize ones’ muscles. I have added two useful links for people who do want to lose weight and yet not die!!!

  http://members.aol.com/bodyfatguy/stopanorexia.html
  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4389837.stm

• 36. Sarendra  |  November 16th, 2006 at 1:25 pm

  Those pictures aren’t very telling…I think this is her http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/3550/skinnypw0.jpg (correct me if I am wrong but I think it is)…it was posted on Fark.

• 37. modelsblog  |  November 16th, 2006 at 2:08 pm

  Sarendra you are wrong. That image is photoshopped and never ever Luisel. I know that there are also photoshopped images of Gisele Bundchen around. It’s just sick…

• 38. marianne  |  November 16th, 2006 at 8:27 pm

  To the Korean girl and the Western girl living in Shanghai- Asian societies are seriously misogynistic and sexist, therefore it does not surprise me that the men there require their women to be skeletally thin. They want them to be small, childlike and submissive-look at the way women in Japan dress like little girls. And the thought of putting your height and weight on your resume- well there is a word for that and it’s discrimination. And don’t assume I am a fat American, I am a size 4, though I am sure that in any Asian country I would be considered a whale. I feel terrible for this poor girl and her family.

• 39. Michelle  |  November 16th, 2006 at 8:45 pm

  I was anorexic since age 12, and went into treatment at age 18 (I am nearly 20 now). It’s nothing glamourous or sophisticasted. It’s painful and unsettling.
  I used to live by the motto “better to die thin than live fat”. I would “fast” constantly, eating nothing but grapes and green tea for several days at a time. I was thin, sure, but very unhappy. I didn’t get to “enjoy” being skinny - I was too focused on how to get skinniER. All I ever thought about was the food I was eating or the food I was going to eat, or how much I should jog to shed the calories from the piece of bread I just had. It’s very time consuming, energy consuming, and soul-consuming. Even now, so many months after beginning my therapy, I still have “urges” to revert, to go back to my old ways. I don’t like eating normal-sized meals, I don’t like eating high caloric or high fat foods. But, I do sometimes.

  I never got down to an emaciated look (although I was striving for that at one point), though I was thin. I weighed about 102 pounds and am 5′3″, so though I was underweight in clinical terms, I did not look like a walking skeleton.

  It is sad that society puts such a pressure on people to be thin, women especially. Every other commercial is for a diet pill, diet program, exercise machine or something of that sort. When you watch programs such as Extreme Makeover, the first thing they do is reccommend liposuction. Dr. 90210 and other programs like NipTuck set the bar to be skinny even further. And let us not forget about the fashion magazines and movies, singers and music videos. The first thing you read about if your favourite singer gains a few pounds is “so-and so is pregnant!” or “so and so balloons up!”. Britney Spears even, who was at first criticized for her sexy image, was then criticized and made fun of after having two children and gaining about 50 pounds. Even a new mother is not safe from this watchful eye and hurtful mouth.

  I know I will probably get flamed for my post, but it is important to me that people realize that being anorexic is not about “looking for attention” or anything. It is also not beautiful and glamorous. We do not sit around in our hotel rooms or our spas drinking sparkling water and getting pedicures. For me, it meant hours spent counting calories, writing what I ate in books, looking at pictures of sickeningly thin women for “thinspiration”, and punishing myself (through further starvation or cutting myself) if I ate more than I was “allowed”. I even wore a red bracelet to show the world of my friendship with “ana”, the name that many people who have this disease give to anorexia.

• 40. Skippy  |  November 17th, 2006 at 5:41 pm

  I would like to offer a male opinion (not to say there are not others represented here). First, the issue is utterly tragic; I know a woman who is anorexic and before I knew that she was ill, I unwittingly made a comment that contributed to her illness. She had been “doing better,” with counseling and prayer, and had been gaining some weight. I made the comment that I thought she looked very nice. She simply was beginning to look “womanly.” Her figure was filling out and she really looked lovely. The way she took that comment, however, was as an indicator that she was too heavy. She spiraled back into starvation, was repeatedly hospitalized, and essentially lost the ability to think effectively as her weight plummeted below 60 pounds (she’s probably 5′5″ tall or more). Sadly, I do not know her status at present, and fear for the worst.

  There is nothing sexy about a walking scarecrow. God intended for women to produce children and built them for efficiency in that regard. He also intended for them to be attractive to their mates, and built them appropriately for that purpose (can you imagine how blown away Adam was the first time he laid eyes on Eve?). Over the years, what was once considered a normal figure, and a sexy one, has been manipulated by selfish interests and the lie has been swallowed hook, line, and sinker by men and women alike. Shame on all of us.

  Having said the foregoing, I must confess that I believe that what passes as “normal” weight in the USA seems to be moving in the opposite direction. I have lived overseas a number of times (Europe, Middle East, and Japan), and both men women in all those places are, on average, healthier in their appearance. Americans live on junk. McDonald’s and Dominos must be proud. As a result, we now have “XXX Large” sizes on store shelves; when as a child, I never saw that here. Japanese women are beautiful. They are neither skinny through starvation, nor (as one writer suggested) through male coercion. They simply subsist on fewer, healthier calories. But not only the women are that way. Japanese men are also leaner (on average) than American males. Whenever I’d get off the plane on a return to trip to the US, I’d be aghast at the corpulent bodies jiggling along the concourse. One simply does not see so much of that overseas.

  I believe that a healthy body is a sexy body. When women starve themselves, they aren’t sexy. When women cast off all restraint and reflect no discipline in either diet or exercise, they aren’t sexy. A toned body that reflects strength and care… now THAT is sexy. They come in all shapes and sizes and refute the stereotype “model sexy” look. Raquel Welch was a sexy-looking woman but she was HEALTHY. By today’s modeling standards, she’d be fat.

  For what it’s worth, I believe that people should eat a healthy diet and get enough exercise, and the “sexy” look will take care of itself. Forget the catwalk — the people that propagate the images revealed there are not interested in your health, but your money. As soon as the world adopts what is on the catwalk, what is on the catwalk will change, because that’s the only way the people behind it will continue to get your money.

  I am so very sorry to learn of the tragic death of yet another young lady who bought the “model look” lie. I pray for peace for her family and encouragement for the many young ladies that struggle with the disease of anorexia, and the even more tragic sense of inadequacy that fuels it. You were created by God just as you are; if you’re good enough for Him, then your good enough, period! God bless you.

• 41. marianne  |  November 17th, 2006 at 7:36 pm

  Skippy I bet you didn’t know that Japanese women suffer from anorexia at 3 times the rate American women do. It’s NOT natural. Also Asia has a huge diet pill problem- thousands of women die each year from taking dangerous doses of these pills. I know that Americans are overweight but we have just as many beautiful women here.

• 42. sjm  |  November 17th, 2006 at 10:27 pm

  I feel sorry for her and all the other people who are dealing with this. It’s really a shame that society has put more importance on what you look like rather than what kind of person you are, how you treat others, whether or not you are smart or have a personality. I hope that we can get back to a time where it matters whether or not you are a person of substance and not just the outward appearance. Remember, you can give someone a beautifully wrapped present but if there is nothing inside what is it really worth?

• 43. zzoo  |  November 18th, 2006 at 2:07 am

  Anorexia and bulimia are a very real and present danger—among non-models and models alike. I’ve read that the thinner to thinnest actresses and models get the better offers and more of them. So who’s to ‘blame’? The public, who watch the shows and movies? The media, who promote the ‘package’? The agents who sift through the actresses and models for the thinnest? The actresses and models themselves? Probably all of the above. I believe the anorexic or bulimic individual has the ultimate choice, be it made with a healthy or an unhealthy mentality. And because people DO have choices, we cannot force a cure on them. But please, as fellow humans in the journey through life, let’s CARE about those who have made awful choices, and let’s do all we can on a personal level to fight the unhealthy ideas that are perpetuated in our societies. Let’s speak out against unhealthy ideals when we’ve the opportunity, let’s support entities who work against those unhealthy ideals, and let’s live sensibly and healthily ourselves. If you’re a person of faith, pray for God to have mercy on those who have succumbed to the deceptions. He loves his creations and is heartbroken when one falls for a deception. I am too–heartbroken for Luisel and her family. May the God of all comfort embrace your broken hearts and have mercy on the suffering.

• 44. Carla  |  November 18th, 2006 at 5:19 am

  To the asian girl: Asian are thin, Yeah right…. Take in consideration that most of you are 4 9” and fat as hell!!!!!!!

• 45. DIE  |  November 18th, 2006 at 4:36 pm

  people have to get skinny as hell to get a modeling job and they don’t even become famous. only when they die. that’s sad. fuck the fashion industry.

• 46. Cookie  |  November 18th, 2006 at 5:51 pm

  First, my condolensces to Ms. Ramos’ family….such a tragic loss because it’s so unnecessary. The clothes most of these young girls model are not the clothes that the average women wear. I’m not sure what the average size for American women is, but I think they should only have models that ARE average sized to be walking the runways. There is nothing glamorous about an anorexic hardly being able to walk the runway. They are not healthy looking - not just in their body - but you can see it in their eyes and skin. It’s so very sad to me that it has come to this…and I truly think the majority of men would like to see women with a little bit of meat on their bones. As my husband says: it gives their partner shade in the summer and warmth in the winter! All joking aside, I just hope and pray that the fashion industry will put a stop to this…it’s not worth dying over. Women can be very critical of other women, but I think a healthy glow, sparkling eyes, and a good toned body makes for a beautiful woman. I, on the other hand, am far from being a skinny woman but I would not trade places with these poor young girls who have such a distorted image of what beauty really is. So sad …

• 47. SilentAngel  |  November 18th, 2006 at 8:53 pm

  Please never forget this wonderflu girl.
  She fought for her dream, but it was a wrong dream.
  She lost the control, wanted to be famous and didn’t thought about the price.

  I hope you are in heaven and look at us!

  miss you!

• 48. Tere  |  November 19th, 2006 at 1:59 am

  This is what anorexia looks like. This is not a model, however she is periphally involved in the fashion industry.

  http://www.xanga.com/tstarvelous

• 49. Roberto  |  November 19th, 2006 at 2:20 am

  Hetero men love the sexy Marilyn Monroe ultra-fem figure. We now have luscious Jennifer Lopez. Gay men rule fashion and want women models to look as masculine as possible, hence, thin, flat-as-a-board, no booty, androgynous. You must be mentally ill to risk your life to look like a coat rack. I hope all find peace and love.

• 50. NCH  |  November 19th, 2006 at 3:57 am

  I feel sad for both these models. All said and done at the end of the day we have to understand that whatever we do today will affect the lives of our children and us. Women think that if they aren’t skinny they are not good enough. But once you develope an eating disorder its not about being skinny anymore. Its an emotional and dangerous journey. Women need to stand together. Dont judge your own kind, because if you do, you give room for others (men) to tell you how you should look and what is beauty. We should be smarter than that. Arent we educate people?

• 51. cb  |  November 19th, 2006 at 5:02 am

  We buy it. So long as the public continues to buy they’ll continue to sell skinny. Do models have the “right” to be skinny and emaciated. Sure…but it is a sad thing when there are actually people in this world who can’t eat. You don’t eat, you won’t eat…you care so much about a job that requires you starve, you show that much disrespect to those that have no food…I say move to Darfur…give the food you deny yourself to someone who would actually appreciate it. Harsh, yes…I too made poor choices. Was a drug addict…does that mean I think that crack is cool now…uh, no! Did I have the “right’ yes…was it right? NO! What the heck does a person know at 20, at 22, or 25? Not much…we think we do…and a few of us are smart enough to do something valuable like become a doctor or a nurse…but for the most part we are kids until we hit 25 or over…if we want our “kids” to make good choices…let’s start by giving good example. Say NO to skinny and emaciated…say YES to life, love, food! Show “kids” that being an image is just that, it isn’t REAL. Choose to be REAL and live long enough to show that it isn’t what a person LOOKS LIKE that counts…but who a person is, that is the only thing that really matters. Only posers and shallow folk think image is all that counts…as Mick Jagger once sang…”when you’re old, when you’re old everyone will know that you were a beauty, a sweet, sweet beauty but so so cold…” don’t be a cold bag of bones. Just say yes to life…say YES TO LIFE when you starve yourself you starve everyone who loves you…so they have what? a picture of who they think you are…who cares if someone thinks you are fat…just means they have skinny emaciated brain power. Beauty is not found in a magazine but in the heart…the most beautiful people in the world aren’t staring at themselves in the mirror…think the Dalai Lama, think Andrea Jaeger, think all of those folks who actually give to the world and not portray to the world…the most beautiful of models succeed because they know this. They become moms, have lives, do valuable things. One of the most beautiful women in the world gave her clothes to charity…Princess Diana stopped the bs and started trying to help with Land Mines…stopped the buliminia and the aneroxia because she stopped worrying about what people thought of her and started doing something to help others beside herself…that’s the key…it isn’t what you look like but who you are. NOW EAT! I didn’t say pig out…just enjoy…modestly, fairly and full of respect for those that can’t! There are a billion jobs out there…someone doesn’t think you are good enough…oh well…someone else will. Don’t be desperate with the world at your feet. BE empowered because you are lucky to have the world at your feet. Best to all…remember food is a gift, a blessing…never meant to be a curse!

• 52. OJ  |  November 19th, 2006 at 5:02 am

  I find it odd that no one has (well, not since that whole KM ‘incident’) brought up the connection between the modelling industry and cocaine. Electrolyte imbalances induced by anorexia can certainly cause heart attacks, but so can good ol’ fashioned coke. Because I have a number of friends in the industry i can attest to the fact that cocaine is sucked back like candy by many models, and I’m pretty sure most of them have figured out that it supresses appetite and speeds up their metabolism to boot. Perhaps cocaine and modelling are inseparable, as the entire industry is built around insecurity masked as unabashed confidence, which might be cocaine’s biggest draw. Making an example of Ms. Moss didn’t do much to stifle the problem, and quite possibly nothing will, but the point should be raised that heavy cocaine use can be almost as lethal as starving yourself.

  Disclaimer: I’m seriously not implying that Luisel had ever been a coke addict (nor do i believe that) - I just thought it was something that should be brought to light.

• 53. PiscesJNJ  |  November 19th, 2006 at 9:50 pm

  NCH left this comment and it should be stated again:

  “Women need to stand together. Dont judge your own kind, because if you do, you give room for others (men) to tell you how you should look and what is beauty. We should be smarter than that.”

  Women are much harder on each other than men are when it comes to physical looks. Women in general don’t dress entirely for the attention of men, they dress to compete and challenge other women around them. It’s sad, but true. So let’s say it again:

  “Women need to stand together. Dont judge your own kind, because if you do, you give room for others (men) to tell you how you should look and what is beauty. We should be smarter than that.”

• 54. kiara  |  November 19th, 2006 at 11:17 pm

  we will all miss her she was so young n had a big life ahead of her n i hope her family is doing all right

• 55. nico  |  November 20th, 2006 at 10:18 pm

  ummmmmm

  http://www.xanga.com/tstarvelous

  thats me, those are my pics

  who posted the link to my site and why?

• 56. modelsblog  |  November 20th, 2006 at 10:54 pm

  Oh my god! These images aren’t real Nico, aren’t they? This is just shocking! You definitely need a therapy or you’re gonna be the next dead. You would be such a beautiful girl if you have a normal weight. Please look forward to visit a doctor

• 57. A Spanish Top Actor  |  November 20th, 2006 at 11:12 pm

  @Nico
  Jesus!!!! I would never touch a girl like you. That’s absolutely disgusting

• 58. Lydia  |  November 21st, 2006 at 1:39 am

  These “asians are naturally skinny” comments are infuriating, speaking as a Korean who lived there during middle school. No, the way my classmates talked 24/7 about “dieting” and their weight was not only unnatural, but pathetic and annoying (weight dropping anyone?). To me, it seems the majority of Koreans have self esteem and eating problems, but think it’s natural, because they pressurize everyone else to have it also. I remember being twelve and going shopping in Korea, only to have a thirty-year old clothes saleswoman staring at my body, and telling me that she wished she were skinny like me. Creepy. I thought even at that time, that shouldn’t a thirty-year old have a fulfilling enough life that she is not striving to look like a twelve year old. After leaving Korea I’ve moved on from a pale, skinny 16 year old, to a healthy, tall 21 year old, and let me just say, it’s better on the libido this way.

• 59. MachoMuchacho  |  November 21st, 2006 at 5:23 am

  How many male fashion designers are gay, preferring female models who look like young boys? And the clothes they create: laughable! Who wears such “couture”? The models look skeletal and have “I’ve been constipated 500 years” sneers. What men find that attractive? As for blaming guys: how feminist! Men are expected to do the dirtiest, most dangerous jobs in the world without complaint. Yet in a world of genuinely starving people, models complain that magazines make them starve. Where is personal accountability? Who keeps models from eating healthily? I bet they don’t listen to those who urge them to change. They make money and get adulation. They are the mirror image of men who make money to buy female attention. The dynamic can seem to “work” but the price is steep. The uber-model becomes obsessed with food, rarely savoring meals. Millionaires obsess about money, rarely having close friends…or time for them. So where are the cultural supports for living balanced lives?

• 60. Nikki  |  November 21st, 2006 at 5:50 pm

  FYI:
  According to her family, and obviously by her pictures, Luisel was not a skinny model. She was not even a full time model. She was a coordinator of fashion events and sometimes would do the catwalk just because she liked it. It’s really sad that her death is being link with that terrible illness of anorexia. She was coordinating Fashion Week in Montevideo and also did the catwalk that last night. If you want to see more pictures of her you can go to this web site and if you read Spanish, you can read more details about what happened:
  http://www.parati.com.ar/nota.php?ID=8481

• 61. R  |  November 21st, 2006 at 7:16 pm

  Once again, I would like to state that there are definately a lot of men that find skinny girls attractive. Not necessarily emaciated or bony girls of course, but skinny like runway models or actresses. Any good-looking girl who has shrunk to a size 0-2 knows that you get a lot of attention from guys and many compliments from people in general, maybe even more social contacts and friends. Every time I was really skinny, guys would look at me like I was something special or tell me how hot or pretty I was, ask me out, etc. etc.

  LOTS of guys want skinny, beautiful girls, and the younger the better for some.

  It seems to me that the more fit and in shape the guy is, the more attractive or successful he is, the more he likes for his mate to be fat-free and physically beautiful. In other words… the reason why women compete is because we fall for the guys that are most attractive, sexy, etc. and these guys are harder to get because they have a lot of options, a lot of girls want to be with them. Beauty is the way to attract men…
  The most desirable men in our Western society ALWAYS with no exception choose thin women. Name one hot, intelligent, successful guy that actually has fallen for a woman with curves or ‘a little more’. Most of those guys don’t even talk to ugly or fat girls, or average looking girls.
  The problem is that we think the people who are more beautiful have better genes for reproduction but maybe that is not true at all. Also, maybe we used to live in clans of women together and have males fight for dominance, so one male would be the best and he would be the one to mate with all the females. LOL.

  Anyway, LOTS of guys tell their girlfriends to lose weight or tease them about having some fat… or want to break up with them if they can find an even better looking female. Not the ones that are fat themselves and have fat women, but the ones that are in shape and that have thin women are like that.

  From my experience, not all women are mean to one another, a lot of women actually share their insecurities with other women.
  Dressing for women is not as bad as to just dress for men… men like sexy clothes, short skirts, lots of skin, cleavage… you know. Basically the more fuckable you look the better, that’s what guys like.

• 62. liza  |  November 21st, 2006 at 7:30 pm

  R- I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m 5′4 and at my current weight of 125 - 130 lbs I am virtually ignored, I just look “average”. But when I used to starve myself, eating a few hundred calories a day and working out at least 2 hours a day, I was about 105 - 110 lbs and got a LOT of positive attention and remarks from men and women alike. I miss feeling so pretty, but I don’t miss feeling so hungry.

• 63. nico  |  November 21st, 2006 at 9:04 pm

  “modelsblog “:

  Yes, the pictures are all real.
  haha
  Somewhere in those blogs you can actually see a couple of pics of me “modelling”.
  Thank you for the very kind words…

  ” A Spanish Top Actor”:

  Thank god you would “never touch a girl like me”.
  I am married to a wonderful amazing guy who
  happens to be a bona fide rock star who
  thinks I am the most beautiful girl in the world no matter what my weight, and he does his best to support and help me through this disorder.

  Furthermore-
  Anorexia has NOTHING to do with wanting to look “attractive”.
  In fact, its the OPPOSITE.
  Anorectics want to be totally UNsexy.
  Sexless.

  However-
  Your ignorance does not shock me one bit.

  A large portion of my disorder was a result of jerks like you who looked at me as “beautiful” and “sexy”
  when I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT WANT that sort of attention.

  You should all know that anorexia has
  NOTHING to do with
  “wanting to look attractive”.

  NOTHING AT ALL.

  Most anorectics (like myself) are NATURALLY thin (by normal standards).
  Most anorectics are considered “ideal” at their natural weight.

  Most anorectics, like myself, do not like being the
  “pretty center of attention”.
  We want to regress to an innocent childlike form and time…
  a time before we were viewed in any sort of
  “attractive” way.

  Anorexia has to do with OCD, control, self punishment,
  desire to remain pre-pubescent, escape from sexuality,
  and many other factors, none of which have much if anything to do with wanting to look attractive.

  So the argument about what men find attractive has nothing to do with anorexia and its causes.

  On THAT topic
  (what men find attractive)
  I will say this:

  I think it is regional.
  Here in new york,
  every man I know Likes their women tiny and androgynous.
  “Under 100 pounds” is the mantra of manhattan boys.
  haha
  The singer in my hubby’s band dated Lindsay Lohan…
  he liked her at her thinnest.
  My hubby likes his women very pettite.

  However-
  In places like Italy or Brazil…
  men like their women slightly more curvy, in my experience.

  Nobody can generalize and assume “what men like”….
  all men like something different.

  However-
  The truth is that the standard for beauty is and has always been “thin”…throughout history this has been the case, with the exception of brief periods in the mid 20th century brief periods in the 18th century.

  This standard has nothing to do with anorexia.

  What men like has nothing to do with anorexia.

  Anorexia is a CHEMICAL issue in the brain.
  It is genetically linked, its very simillar to OCD.

  You either have this disorder or you dont…
  and only about 1%-3% of the population actually HAS anorexia.

  Anyone who tells you that their quest for thinness is a result of a desire to “be what men want” does not
  have anorexia.

• 64. R  |  November 21st, 2006 at 11:31 pm

  Hi Nico!

  I agree but,
  Do you think there are different kinds of anorexics? For example, when I weighed 96 lbs, people called me anorexic and I didn’t eat a lot but I definately wanted to look sexually attractive to my husband, who happens to also be a rockstar, I am not going to mention the name of his band because I want to stay anonymous. He does like petite body types for girls, he likes skinny girls. I do know the feeling very well though of not wanting to be sexual… to dream of being child-like and innocent.
  I have two sides… one is very sexual and the other one wants to be innocent like a child.

  Let me ask you, would your husband still like you if you would gain weight and recover from your disease? I sure hope so because mine didn’t like it and he even told me he would rather have me be anorexic again! It was hard to recover that way and very embarrassing! We are not together anymore (I guess things could only go down from there). I was never as skinny as you are, fortunately, I didn’t like how my chest would be flat and all my ribs were visible at the front (cleavage). My husband did tell me I was too skinny, his range of acceptance was quite small: skinny and tight/ toned but not bony was his ideal. I myself never wanted people to think that I was anorexic-ish. Skinny, yes, but not to be an obvious anorexic. It is too embarrassing to be called anorexic. I would lie like everybody else, and say that I have a high metabolism, skinny genes, not so hungry, whatever.

  I also felt that I wanted to lose more weight, I never really felt skinny enough, but I got heart problems and electrolyte imbalances and a range of other scary things and that kind of woke me up. I was always dizzy and stuff, too, I just considered that to be normal but it really is a bad sign.
  After that, I tried to recover. I developed a grudge towards my husband because he didn’t try to help me get better and he didn’t understand. I never fully recovered, I keep relapsing.
  My ex is dating other (anorexic) girls now. I weigh 106 now (my natural weight) and I feel fat so I know I will lose weight again, I just can’t be happy like this and I still hear the voice of my husband in my head, telling me I was so much hotter when I was skinny, bla bla.

  By the way, my husband also thought that Lindsay Lohan would be too round/ soft for his taste, but girl you are much, much skinnier than the skinny/anorexic Lindsay. You think you are bigger than you really are (I know, I do that too but you are REALLY skinny, honey, even for the critical eye of an anorexic). Oh well I know how it feels and me saying this doesn’t matter anyways. Just know that there are people who care!

  I hope you won’t die or have permanent damage to your body!
  You never know, maybe your husband and you will want to have children in the future… even if you don’t want them now, you might still change a lot in 5 or 10 years time. You might want to get better so you will still be able to even have babies. It would be a shame if you would want them but it would be too late to undo the damage.

  Warm hugs, R

• 65. nico  |  November 22nd, 2006 at 12:38 am

  “R”-
  big hug to you…

  you have touched on a very important part of anorexia:
  Contradiction.

  In our heads is always contradiction….
  we want people to tell us how sick/thin we look,
  we get upset when people tell us how sick/thin we look

  we want to be sexless/childlike,
  we want our spouses to still find us attractive/sexy

  the list goes on and on.

  In my case-
  My hubby confuses me.
  He is upset at me being sick,
  yet in one breath he tells me how
  he thinks i am way too thin and it doesnt look good on me,
  how he doesnt find the bones attractive…
  in another breath he tells me how beautiful I am and how attracted he is to me.

  My logical mind tells me it is just because he loves me that no matter what he always thinks i am beautiful,
  but my disordered mind tells me he is just
  lying one way or another.

  When we met,
  i was healthy…..he fell in love with me at about
  113 pounds (heaviest I have ever been, I am 5′5)
  and for most of the years we have been together I was at my natural weight of about 105-108 pounds.

  I think the weight loss happened so gradually that he didnt realise it until everyone started freaking out.

  I agree,
  its very embarrassing to be called anorexic.

  As for Lindsay Lohan,
  she was never “unhealthy” thin.
  At her thinnest, she was the same size as I am at my HIGH weight lol….
  shes not a small girl, but i think she looked better thinnner.

  again,
  big hug to you.

  From one to another-
  I wish you all the best.

• 66. R  |  November 22nd, 2006 at 4:20 am

  Hi Nico!

  I totally agree with you, I feel the same… I keep going into extremes.
  Yes, I know what you mean and I used to be very confused with my husband as well… He gave me a lot of mixed signals too. Now I understand it better because he explained to me that he always thought I was beautiful, because he thought I was a beautiful woman and that is why he married me, etc. etc., just that he thought I looked better at a certain weight. Not out of shape and not too skinny/ bony either. It hurt my feelings that he was so honest when I gained a little bit of weight and he would comment on it, but in retrospect he probably never meant it in such a devastatingly rejecting way as I thought of it (of course I had low self esteem). It was weird too because one moment he would tell me he liked me better when I was skinnier, the next moment he would tell me he loved my curves (ok curves is maybe a big word), he would get turned on by my body, etc. I keep thinking he was sick himself to feel that his girl would be an extention of his own ego or something. I got so sick of it. I don’t like losing weight for a guy, had he not said anything I would have lost the weight and not even spent much time worrying about it. Sometimes anorexics turn boulimic at first when they try to recover, which is what I went through for a while. I was still never really fat, though but you know how it is, when you come from being that skinny, everything looks like too much. You can avoid this though by toning and rebuilding some muscle mass. You know how fasting shuts off your metabolism so it is easier to gain fat that way.

  From what you tell me, I think your husband is probably telling the truth about how he doesn’t like to see you being boney. But of course in essense, he still finds you a beautiful woman. Like if Brad Pitt (or Johnny Depp or whoever) would get boney, he would still be handsome as far as his constitution, but he would just be way too thin which would not look as good as when he would be of a healthier weight… You know what I mean? Or if say, a Victoria’s secret model would put on 15 lbs she would not look the same but she would still be a beautiful woman (at least according to popular belief). Your man loves you a lot I think, and he is probably worried about your low weight. Maybe he even finds it a little bit unattractive, and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad about yourself. What could it hurt to gain like 10 lbs (from healthy food like fruits, vegetables, some good fats maybe and some muscle toning) and still be tiny, be the beautiful woman that you are and enjoy yourself for a change. Man I wish my boobs would exist after losing weight… I start out with a cup A, by the time I weigh 98 lbs I look like a 13 year old, lol. Good for you! If I would lose a lot more weight than that, I would look creepy. Boney cleavage=not cool… Boobs make your waist look smaller anyway.
  I got this website by this guy who used to have anorexia. It explains how you can better burn fat and preserve muscles and why anorexics often feel fat because they lose a lot of muscle but not fat by fasting. You could gain like 10 lbs and if it would be all muscle, you would end up looking still very low fat. it seems that you actually have an opportunity to rebuild your body and change it’s composition, if you would want that. If you are afraid of gaining fat you just have to eat small meals every 3 hours and eat breakfast, this way your metabolism will be high and everything will be used for instant energy. Did you know that you probably burn at least 1300 calories a day purely from existing? Without even doing anything, just to maintain your bones, lean muscle mass, organs etc (for you it might be 50 or 100 calories less since you don’t weigh anything but you can find out how much precisely). So if you were to eat 5 meals of 250 calories (a total of 1250) with 3 hours in between and the first meal being right when you wake up, it would be IMPOSSIBLE to gain fat. You would gain some lost muscle mass though, which only burns more fat. It is all explained in his book.
  Maybe you’d be interested:
  http://members.aol.com/bodyfatguy/stopanorexia.html
  Also, if you ever decide to start eating again, try a balanced raw food diet, it will help you be thin while being able to eat much more food. It will also make your skin and hair look their best.
  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4389837.stm

  I don’t know, I know how it is but… dying is not good… it is boring and you will die if you keep losing weight. If you manage not to die, you will most likely end up with horrible teeth and irreversibly damaged organs, which is also no fun. That will actually make it harder to stay thin later in life! Plus, you will look older sooner… you will age faster if you are severely underweight, so you will look much older than you really are. I am sure you know the pictures of end-stage anorexics (you’re about a week away from that), they always look old but they may be teenagers, you wouldn’t know.

  Lindsay Lohan is a cute girl and I like her acting.
  I don’t know if Lindsay was ever at an unhealthy weight or not, it totally depends on how she got there in the first place. See, it is all about nutrients and fuel or the lack thereof. Someone who eats 600 calories from fruits, vegetables, good fats like avocado, olive oil spread out over the day still is healthier than someone who gets their 600 calories from soda pop, candy, pudding, etc. or who binges once a day then eats nothing the rest of the day, or who eats nothing at all or vomits after every meal. Biochemically, that would be a big difference, I would think, even though the end result seems the same. Someone could eat 1000 calories instead of 600 and then exercise to burn 400, while eating healthy foods. I assume they would be more healthy than someone eating only 600 calories although they would have the same weight.
  The question is not whether Lindsay looks unhealthy, but whether she has some fat left to burn if she gets sick for example. Seniors are at risk when they are too underweight because if they do get sick and lose weight from it, they have nothing to fall back on and they die. You are now in the same situation, plus your immune system is probably not good by now so you’re more susceptible to illneses. You can still recover though and build up a strong immune system again.
  If you do not get minerals from your food, your body will get them from your bones, teeth, etc. Sometimes this takes years, it is hard to say. I knew an anorexic girl who was only a teenager and her teeth where totally ruined. She never looked unhealthy thin to me at all.
  Back to Lindsay, I feel sorry for her being in such a circus at such a young age. I like her regardless of how much she weighs, as long as she is happy and making fun movies. I try not to look at girls as sex objects but just to see their energy and what they project… happiness, sadness… frustration… people are not so hard to read behind the mask if you look closely. In the end, it is all about communicating emotion, and people are dynamic beings, not airbrushed images in magazines.

  I wonder what made you want to lose weight in the first place… did you have any fearful or painful experiences? For me, well I had some of those when I was a little girl and throughout my life…

  All the best to you as well! >Hugs

• 67. R  |  November 22nd, 2006 at 5:07 am

  to Liza,

  You may also want to try a raw food or living foods lifestyle. There are many books and websites about this. It is what helped me eat lots of food while staying skinny. The difference is that all the foods are in their natural state, easy to digest and don’t put any strain on the body, nor do they take up too much energy to be digested. Of course you also get more enzymes, vitamins and minerals, etc. and all the foods are water-rich. Your body ends up having a lot of energy to burn fat and stored toxins and stuff. It takes some time and trying out to get it right but I am never going back to eating mouse meals on a standard modern diet. I can’t believe I used to eat practically nothing just to maintain my weight.

• 68. R  |  November 22nd, 2006 at 5:22 am

  Nico,

  I just looked at this link http://members.aol.com/fatguy2/minimumlbm.html
  and was worried because the lean body mass for your height is 93.5 lbs and you are well under this weight, meaning you are metabolising your muscles, INCLUDING YOUR HEART!!!

  You will die soon… please do not let this happen!!!!!!! You might get irreversible heart damage like holes in your heart and heart attacks like Carre Otis!!

• 69. Kat  |  November 23rd, 2006 at 6:35 am

  Wow, I must say, there seems to be some people that are quite jealous. Ok, she died of heart failure, it saddens me. But, guess what, someone overweight can die of heart failure too, remember that when you chow down on your 3 double cheeseburgers and your large fries and your diet coke

  Now, as for us who are naturally thin, it IS hard, always being asked stupid questions like what pills you take, or if you eat, or the stares. . . like we are lepers or something. I cannot help my weight, trust me, I have tried. My doctor has run blood test after blood test on me to find, I am perfectly healthy, just thin. I am a size 32AA bra, and I can’t help that either. My boyfriend laughs because I can outeat him at dinner, and he weighs 3 TIMES my weight.
  Large women seem to think it is ok to talk to me about how overly thin I am, but yet, it is totally socially unacceptable to reply to them when they ask me if I eat with something along the lines of *Wow, look at you, how many McDonalds did you visit today?!*
  And, there are overweight people who really cannot help that either, glandular (sp?) problems weigh (no pun intended) a big part in it. Also, some people cannot get out and excersize, due to medical problems, and they tend to hold a higher *unhealthy* weight.
  Of course, ladies and gentlemen, we live in a shallow world. Everyone is out to point out everyone else’s faults. I am as nice as I can be to everyone I meet. I smile, I am cheerful, and I try to make the best out of every day, to everyone, with everyone. Maybe if people were to stop looking on the outside. .. but I know, that will never happen.
  It goes back to this when I think about it. There is a woman I met, and had daily relations with her on a professional basis. She was large, all over, very tall, thick, and had a 5 o’clock shadow that would make the teenage boys jealous. Every day I came into contact with her, she became more beautiful, she smiled and meant it. She had 3 adopted children, all with some sort of handicap, that love her. Her husband was a small man, no more than 5 feet tall, and you could see he belived that she was the sunrise and sunset. She would come to me, ask how my day was going, and if there was anything she could do to make my day better, and she did this to every employee at my store, and she was a customer. Before we knew it, we all thought she was pretty. No, I am sure we won’t see her on the runways modeling anything, but lemme tell you, she is one hell of a woman, and I hope when people look at me, they see beauty like my coworkers and I see in her. THAT is real beauty, also, I give a big round of applause to Dove, and their real campaign for beauty!

• 70. virginia  |  November 24th, 2006 at 7:26 pm

  Oh let me guess Kat, you are asian..

• 71. Jenni  |  November 24th, 2006 at 7:29 pm

  Well I personally am trying to gain some weight at the moment, because I hate being skinny. I have been anorexic for a few years, and I am now recovering well. I thought that being skinny would be so great, but in actual fact, I looked awful! I am so much happier now that I am heavier, and I definitely look better.

  And just so you know, not all anorexics want to be skinny to look un-sexy. I wanted to look better, because I seriously thought that the thinner I was, the better. You can’t just generalise anorexia, because at the end of the day, it’s a bloody complexed mental illness!

• 72. nico  |  November 25th, 2006 at 1:23 am

  Jenni-
  what was your lowest weight
  and at what height?

  because never in all my years with this disorder
  have I ever met an anorectic who WANTED to be sexy.

• 73. R  |  November 25th, 2006 at 10:33 pm

  Heyy! It is not a contest!
  How are you doing anyway girl?

  I have seen hundreds of girls on Xanga skinny_reality that are anorexic and that definately look sexy… or try to look sexy and pose in sexy ways (one was even totally naked with a dildo)… Some are skinnier than others but most of the girls I have seen were actually trying to look sexy… In contrast, there are a few that seem to just be documenting their skinnyness, without trying to be sexy.

• 74. nico  |  November 25th, 2006 at 10:59 pm

  Oh no..
  Its not a contest at ALL,
  thats not what I am getting at.

  What I am getting at is that so many girls are like
  “oh, i used to be anorexic”
  when they dont even know the diagnostic criteria for anorexia.

  the fact of the matter is that a person DOES NOT have anorexia
  unless their BMI is BELOW 17.5
  or they weigh LESS than 15% BELOW the LOWEST acceptable body weight for their height.
  They also have to no longer get their period.

  I think people throw around the word “anorexic” way too often when many people are ignorant about what it really means.

  The girls you see on xanga “trying to be sexy” are DEFINITELY NOT anorexic.
  not ONE.

  There are so many ‘wanarexics’ on that site that it is DISGUSTING.

  Basically-
  If a girl is
  5 feet tall and does not weigh UNDER 88 pounds,
  she does NOT have anorexia.

  If a girl is 5′4 and does NOT weigh UNDER 100 pounds,
  NOT anorexic.

  You can calculate BMI here:
  http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

  most of the assholes on xanga WANT anorexia (for some MORONIC reason) sothey pretend to have it when they DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS.

• 75. R  |  November 26th, 2006 at 4:05 pm

  I know, Nico,
  but have you really looked through the skinny_reality pics long enough? There are definately some skinny girls on there, for example one girl who’s lowest weight was 80 lbs on a height of 5″6′ or 5″7′. There are many others that look dangerously skinny. Sure, there are also a lot of girls on there that are bigger than that, I know! But please remember you have a different perception because of your disease!! You are so skinny yourself that there are many skinny people that are bigger than you, which still doesn’t make them fat however.
  Just for clarity, I do not like putting down numbers as far as height, lowest weight, etc. because to some that might be triggering, but ok, I can tell you that my lowest BMI was 16.4.

  I don’t know if anorexia has only to do with the low BMI though, since there are many people who starve themselves or throw up every meal even when they might not (yet) have an anorexic weight. A lot of girls actually want to get help in an early stadium like that, but they feel they are too fat to get help, which is a shame, don’t you think? I can not judge people just from pictures. I would not be surprised if a lot of them would have low BMI’s. I do know that in the pro-ana movement, there seems to be a distinction between ‘anas’ (those that never stop) and ‘rexies’ (those that know when to stop). Do you think only ‘anas’
  really have anorexia and not the ‘rexies’? That would be nice because than I never had anorexia, even though my BMI was under 17.5. That would make me happy because I hated people commenting on it.
  I never thought I had anorexia but I remember going to the doctor for something else but she wanted to weigh me and she asked questions etc. However, I got physical problems that made me realize I was gonna die if I didn’t stop. I guess wanted to live. It is funny because I remember there was a time when I would have rather died than be fat. Being ‘fat’ was no fun, but to be honest, being hungry and depressed is also not a lot of fun. I had a hard time recovering, too… my body was just confused.
  I agree that it’s so stupid that girls would WANT to be anorexic. I think anorexia is the most embarassing, weak thing in the world.

• 76. R  |  November 26th, 2006 at 4:12 pm

  I forgot to mention that I indeed had amenorrhea. Now I have PMS for ther rest of my life.

  Hugs

• 77. R  |  November 26th, 2006 at 5:03 pm

  Body Mass Index

  * Starvation: less than 15 (Nico!!!!!)
  * Anorexic weight: less than 17.5
  * Underweight: less than 18.5
  * Ideal: from 18.5 to 25
  * Overweight: from 25 to 30
  * Obese: from 30 to 40
  * Morbidly Obese: greater than 40

• 78. nico  |  November 26th, 2006 at 8:52 pm

  Oh R-

  Youre a very sweet and very smart girl….
  I want you to know I absolutely was not suggesting that you were one of those people!!!

  The thing about “skinny_reality”
  and other sites like that is that they use photos of girls who dont have eating disorders,
  they justuse photos of girls who look thin.

  Sometimes I have a problem with it because I have seen photos of girls I know who are models on those sites (I.E my friend Catriona Balfe) who would probably not be happy to know that they are being used as “thinspiration” for a bunch of wannabe anorectics.

  By NO MEANS does having a BMI over 17.5 make somebody ‘fat’….
  not at ALL.

  However-
  I am just tired of these annoying tweenagers who seem to think anorexia is a cool fad diet.

  I have no idea what you are talking about withj
  “ana” and “rexies” lol.
  Those are likely words some moron wanarexics made up.
  THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN “ANA” OR A “REXIE” HAHAHA.

  Only ANOREXIA NERVOSA.
  Thats IT.
  Either you have it or you dont.

  “Ana” and “rexie” are the silliest things I have ever heard.

  MEDICAL FACT:
  If your BMI is above 17.5
  You DO NOT have anorexia.
  case closed.

  However-
  In SOME cases, they might have “EDNOS”
  or “eating disorder otehrwise non-specified”

  hahahhaha
  “ana” and “rexie”???
  THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ANORECTIC WHO KNOWS WHEN TO STOP.
  If she knows when to stop lol,
  SHE DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING LIKE ANOREXIA.

  Im sorry, but it is wanarexic idiocy like THAT
  which iNFURIATE ME.

  which TRIVIALIZE MY DISEASE.

  This may sound harsh to you,
  But its tough love..
  HONEY-
  You HAD anorexia.

  You were just in DENIAL,
  thats VERY common.

  You are not alone in that…
  every day I hear from girls who
  “are not anorexic” hahah
  but they are in treatment centers with BMI of 15.5.

  You must accept that this is what you have in you
  so you can combat it if it surfaces again.

  dont let the wanarexics fill your head full of crap.

  YOU would be in danger for listening to them as YOU actually once had a problem.

• 79. SC  |  November 27th, 2006 at 7:59 am

  hey Nico,
  I have a question. I guess Im just wondering if you have considered getting help or treatment? I guess I’m having a bit of a hard time understanding why it is that you post your pics and info online if its not that you want help and its not that you want the attention. It seems that you are open about being anorexic, so where do you go from here? I have suffered from an eating disorder and I am currently in recovery, and my life has never been better because I’m actually living now. I don’t want to see you die and I cant help but think thats what will happen to you if you continue on this path. Obviously people care, and want to see you happy, truly happy. Looking at your pictures made me sad, because you seem like such a smart and interesting person, and you are so much more than just a number and just a body. Best wishes to you.

• 80. R  |  November 27th, 2006 at 2:06 pm

  I must agree with you, Nico, and thx for answering my questions. I also agree with what SC just said.
  I agree that the ‘pro-ana’ movement is so idiotic. Wearing bracelets??? LOL. Foolish little girls!
  Hahahaha I guess you’re right about the idea of anas and rexies… I guess I just wanted to not have been anorexic but deep down it is so obvious. I keep relapsing, too. This has been going on for years. The only difference with the past is that now I know a lot more about health, nutrition, the way the body works, the dangers of anorexia etc. I care about my body a LOT more than I used to, I used to be totally cut off from it… I really abused my body in many ways. Denying your hunger is like denying yourself… I don’t like other people to deny me or abandon me and I don’t want to be like those people. I try to love myself now because I have found that I am really all alone in this world and I am the only one who can really love myself and take care of me. I am my own friend, not my enemy. My body is a great instrument for me to use. I am not my body, I just live in it. My brain is most important and I don’t like my brain to be starving, it makes me act like an airhead. It is all completely different from the past now and I try to work with my body as much as possible instead of against it, whenever I can at least.
  My focus has shifted from just counting calories, reading all food labels and over-exercising to finding more effective ways to lose weight and lower my body fat while staying as healthy as possible. The foods I do eat are high in minerals and vitamins and I try to lose weight without completely starving myself. Food is not my enemy, it actually helps me reach my goal if I make the right choices. I try to keep my metabolism as high as possible, which I know is impossible when you’re too thin… it’s just automatic that it shuts off and you end up easily gaining weight from a lot less calories.
  I’m really afraid of getting the heart palpitations and electrolyte imbalances back, and to stop breathing when falling asleep, feeling like slipping into a coma… Have you never felt anything like that? Your body must be having some (or a lot of) problems by now, I would think? You are now in the ’starvation’ range, beyond anorexic!!!!!!!!! That’s some serious self-denial. I am sorry for whatever caused all your pain…
  Do you ever faint or get dizzy, or do you lay in bed not being able to fall asleep? Do you still feel active?

  When my weight goes down, there is always a point at which I can’t eat as much anymore… and I feel high on life at first. My life seems perfect that way… but I really am trying to find the right weight, the right balance and not to go too far. At the same time, I am setting my goal weight lower than ever before. Contradictions again. I just want to get there in a different way.

  Doesn’t it suck to think about this stuff ALL the time? I am embarassed about not using that time to think about something more important. I just don’t know how to cope with life or how to be different. I’m in a lot of pain myself. At least when I’m skinnier, I don’t have to think about it as much. Or do I???

  Seriously though, Sweetie, what are you going to do? You are dangerously skinny… you can die. I don’t want you to die!!!! If you die, I could die too, eventually… I am not even going to try to help you get ‘better’, I just want to help you not to die. That’s where I’m at. I know I will keep relapsing and getting to a low BMI, but I am basically trying to stay alive in the process. I would definately get help if I felt I was too sick and close to the end. Think of Karen Carpenter, I love that woman. She was trying so hard to get better and she was actually gaining weight, but she already had too much damage to her body and she died of heart failure.
  Please make sure you don’t die. You can stay anorexic… I guess but just try to gain a little bit of weight and eat nutritious food for your organs so you won’t die or get more organ damage. You can still reverse the damage to your body if you don’t wait too long I think. Your loved ones will be so lonely and broken of you would die!!!

  GIRL, YOUR BMI IS AROUND 15 WHICH IS STARVATION PLEASE TRY TO GET HELP OR DO IT ON YOUR OWN IF YOU CAN FIGHT IT. YOU CAN FIND A WAY!!! ENVISION YOURSELF BEING A FEW LBS HEAVIER AND FEELING A LOT BETTER. It will be hard to do, I know but you have got to become afraid of dying or getting seriously ill. Do you want to die? I know you have got to be depressed (DUH), so maybe you think you want to die but believe me, you really don’t!!! It is not real!!! Fight it! At least you can always go back, just give it a try, if you don’t like it or you feel uncomfortable, you can go back to where you are now. I can help you get a little better, and do it slowly enough for you not to overeat once your appetite returns. Trust me! The first thing is to get you away from the starvation zone and back into the anorexic zone. Starvation=NOT GOOD!! You WILL die if you go on like this for too long! I can help you gain weight (lean tissue) while not gaining fat. Do you have an email address I can contact you on (I’m trying to stay anonymous)?

  All my best :~)

• 81. rachel  |  November 27th, 2006 at 10:04 pm

  to feel the need to mutilate ur body like that (and it is mutilation) makes me pity any1 that feels the need 2 do that to themselves.
  better to die thin? no1s going to remember you when your dead anyways, so mite as well enjoy life.
  its also been scientifically proven that obese ppl live longer than those who are underweight. haha, what a waste of time for the waifer thinners

• 82. nico  |  November 27th, 2006 at 10:56 pm

  “rachel”-
  youre an ignoramus.
  I wont bother to respond.

  “SC”:

  I post my pics as a sort of OCD weight loss diary
  its also pretty typical for those of us with BDD
  to need constant reassurance that we look
  “thinner” when our eyes decieve us.

  also-
  i find my page to be artful…I find art in the physical manifestation of pain….

  Ive been healthy, ive been ill.
  I have come to realise that my life will be full 0f relapses and recoveries.

  with this realization, i find it easier to handle it all

• 83. SC  |  November 28th, 2006 at 1:12 am

  To people reading this: and not just rachel but to all others who have made comments on the subject in a demeaning manner: I’d just like to say that leaving comments like “that is disgusting” and laughing at people with this disorder and the “thin mentality” doesnt help anything, in fact it just makes you look completely ignorant and insensitive. If you dont know what youre talking about, then dont say anything. You obviously don’t know much about the heart and soul of these disorders such as anorexia if you can call people disgusting and laugh at them. (Nico- I know you werent going to comment on those comments but I cant help it. I wanted to say something)

  and Nico:
  I can feel you in the matter of viewing manifestation of pain as art. I think thats why a lot of people relate to art and m usic the way they do. I can assure you that you are way skinnier than you think you are, and I can also assure you that nobody wants to see you that way, and by that way I mean unhappy and unhealthy.

  I think realizing that there will always be ups and downs is rational, but I also think that you can find happiness in life, and that with your mind completely preoccupied with food is not a way to live life to the fullest. Maybe you do not want to live, and if this is so, I’m think you understand that this is a chemical imbalance in your brain, and not truly what your heart wants, and certainly not what anyone wants for you. It seems as though you have been suffering with an ED and BDD for some time now, and I know there is no sense in trying to help somone that just doesnt want to be helped, theres tons of us that have been on both sides of that matter including myself, but all i can hope for is that one day you’ll be ready to face this thing, take it head on, and get back in control of your life rather than let it control you. Its not easy, its definitely the hardest thing Ive ever done, but its possible and its rewarding and life really is worth living. All my best always~

• 84. R  |  November 28th, 2006 at 1:53 pm

  rachel,
  To most people it is obvious that obese (and overweight) people also severely mutilate their bodies by systematically overloading it with food, and usually food that is of a terribly unnatural, dangerous nature and low quality, with preservatives, additives, etc.etc. Yes, this too is a form of mutilation and self destruction that disgusts most people (even the ones that are doing this damage to themselves). It seems like a true waste of time. Even if your life as an overweight or obese person is long and disease-free, which is not likely and actually paradoxical, you will lose years just trying to lose the extra weight if you decide to, not to mention how much of a waste it is to believe you are meant to be overweight. The lies and powerlessness would just drive me insane, but maybe my brain would not be able to register that after so much abuse and malnutrition, which is truly what it is. I almost feel silly even explaining this to you. We all know that the obese suffer from many deadly (unnatural, obesity-related) diseases and die prematurely after having enjoyed a lower than normal quality of life (even to be molded by the child ABUSE that is being overfed junk and for parents to encourage obesity in children), you would have to have been in a dream world all your life to not have gotten that memo. How naive to think that that is not a form of abuse to the body. I pity the obese just as much as I pity any anorexic. It seems to me that you are probably lying to yourself and you are just looking for justifications to keep abusing your own body, while deep down you probably wish you didn’t have to. It may not be obvious to you, but your statement that it is scientifically proven that obese people live longer than the underweight is so ridiculous that it is humorous. Would you please give the sources to ANY scientific articles that state this?
  I wish you the best and just know that NOBODY hates you, they just don’t want to see you suffer. We all want you to be happy, vibrant, healthy people too.
  Actually, thin (but not anorexic!!!) people live the longest (when they are CRON practisers):

  Calorie restriction
  From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

  Calorie restriction or Caloric restriction (CR) is the practice of limiting dietary energy intake in the hope that it will improve health and retard aging. In human subjects, CR has been shown to lower cholesterol, fasting glucose, and blood pressure. Some consider these to be biomarkers of aging, since there is a correlation between these markers and risk of diseases associated with aging. Except for houseflies (below), animal species tested with CR so far, including primates, rats, mice, spiders, Drosophila, C. elegans and rotifers, have shown lifespan extension. CR is the only known dietary measure capable of extending maximum lifespan, as opposed to average lifespan. In CR, energy intake is minimized, but sufficient quantities of vitamins, minerals and other important nutrients must be eaten. To emphasize the difference between CR and mere “FR” (food restriction), CR is often referred to by a plethora of other names such as CRON or CRAN (calorie restriction with optimal/adequate nutrition), or the “high-low diet” (high in all nutrients aside from calories, in which it is “low”). Other names for the diet emphasize the goal of the diet, such as CRL (calorie restriction for longevity), or simply The Longevity Diet, as in a recently published book by that name.

  Anti-Aging Diet & Calorie Restriction

  Calorie Restriction (CR) is the process of limiting caloric intake with the intention of slowing down aging. Some people refer to the concept as an anti aging diet. Research into Calorie Restriction has continued for many years - concluding that the lifespan of many animals (rats, monkeys, spiders) is extended when calorie intake is restricted.

  The difficulty of Calorie Restriction is that sufficient nutrition (vitamins and minerals) must be maintained while lowering energy intake as much as possible.

  There are many adherents of a calorie restricted lifestyle - hoping to extend life.

• 85. R  |  November 28th, 2006 at 4:44 pm

  Dear Nico,

  I worry about you. The world needs people like you!
  I need hope myself, especially since this is the hardest time in my life so far, breaking up after having been so unhappy in my marriage with someone I loved dearly was really not on my ‘to do’ list or how I envisioned my life when I was younger… I can’t control the world or the way people think I guess, I can’t even really ever control myself.
  YES, if YOU would allow yourself to take better care of yourself and prevent death, that WOULD give me a lot of hope, even if I don’t know you. I have been pre-suicidal on and off for a few months now, trying to fight very, very hard to even make it through the day without crying and giving up all my power, hope and strength, my sanity or what little I have left of all that. I will not stop fighting my demons… EVER. I WILL love myself and accept my own mistakes and shortcomings… my weaknesses and bad memories. One day, I WILL be ok again and I will conquor… even if it takes me the rest of my life to fight this depression every single day. I will live with my pain and somehow give expression to it… not by killing myself or hurting myself, not by shooting other people or chopping them into pieces, not by hating and torturing myself, not by becoming a drug addict or an alcoholic, not by getting admitted to a mental institution, not by shutting out everybody and isolating myself completely. Believe me, all these things have seemed more attractive to me than to live what I am going through at this time in my life. I am really not strong enough to carry the burden I am carrying right now, but I am going to fight this, day by day, until I die. I will get stronger, smarter and I will survive. I will learn better ways of thinking. I will not allow others to change me or take away from my innocence or destroy it. I am trying very, very hard to remember who I was before… and before the disease destroyed my life. ALL my dreams are crushed and I have lost everything I cared about, which is a lot. I am building new dreams, setting new goals, like nothing happened, starting over. I am trying to set more healthy goals… to become independant, to love myself and to try to believe in myself, which is hard. It is funny how my main ambition right now is to just get through the day so I can sleep and get a few hours of peace. That just doesn’t seem like me. I don’t even remember really what I was like before.
  I will wait long enough until I have found people who really care and who are really emotionally mature and capable. But the most important thing is that I am unhappy because I don’t love myself enough. I felt very confident, proud and loved when I was skinny and when my ex and I were still happily together. I felt worthwhile when I was loved like that, but it wasn’t real. He denied me, emotionally many times, did not care about my feelings. All was good if I was happy and looking my best, but if I had a problem he couldn’t be there for me or even hug me. He was sick himself and he didn’t understand feelings or basic psychology. I felt very estranged, first from him and then from myself as well. I felt like all kinds of things were wrong with me to even bother him with anything. He told me feelings are just in the way and eventually it made some sense to me to think that it would be better to be free from emotions and feelings alltogether. I started feeling abnormal for being so emotional.

  People should be able to help other people. If we did, nobody would have to go to a therapist to PAY someone to
  act like they care. I find that it is hard to find people in life who REALLY care, and most have their own struggles and demons to fight.

  Anyway… it is easy to lose weight and to deal with my pain in that way… that is all it really is, Nico… a way to deal with pain, depression, fear, confusion, frustration, embarrassment. It is a manifestation of inner torment. You know this of course.

  Please let’s just talk about this…? The hardest thing in the world is to deal with pain and even to talk about it with other people. A lot of people don’t understand at all, or are flattened or emotionally detached, with walls around them. In our society, we are not openly allowed to express our emotions (that’s why we do it online, to strangers). Everybody would feel worthwhile if they were encouraged to express their emotions and if ’society’ would not reject that idea. I have people telling me all the time that I should not dwell on things, that I will get over it, that he’s not worth crying for, etc. Blind fools. EVERYBODY is worth crying for.
  It only makes me feel that I can not go to them for comfort and understanding. Sometimes things DO hurt that much and it is not so easy to ‘not dwell on it’ or react in a sane, responsible way. It only makes me feel that I should suffer in silence and hide the fact that I AM suffering, that I AM weak and vulnerable, maybe not ’smart’ or ‘mature’ enough to deal with this pain. I can act like I’m doing so f****** great, fool everybody into thinking I have made progress when nothing inside has changed. I know I might feel this pain forever, untill I die. Now I am going to have to hide it from other people and cry in the dark when I am alone. I will lose weight, until people will be worried and even then, I will feel that I can not go to them for understanding and support. I will lie about my pain and pretend like I am on top of the world, in control of my life and myself and acting with the intelligence and maturity that is expected of me. Trying hard not to disappoint anyone, to keep up appearances and to apply myself and be responsible, to please people and not let my guard down. They will be proud of me for my ’strength’.
  Feeling or expressing pain is NOT a sign of weakness or inadequacy. Our society is so f****** individualistic. So what if I make someone sad by expressing my pain to them? If people really love me they SHOULD be sad for me. There is nothing wrong with wanting pity and there is nothing strong about not facing your demons. I do not want to be a selfless being and I am tired of being denied the opportunity to release my emotions.

  I have a good friend who is always there for me and I know without him I would have been dead. He always just gives me a hug and talks to me, understands what I’m going through. It makes me feel normal again and not alienated.
  Pain can go away only if you receive love and support from other human beings, who think it is healthy that you do not run from it or try to escape it or deny it when it is there.

• 86. nico  |  November 30th, 2006 at 10:26 pm

  I’m sorry,
  I am fucking furious.

  Because of this link,
  I have had to deal with judgemental assholes of the most
  ERRONEOUS sort.

  http://www.xanga.com/tstarvelous/487275143/new-body-picsand-thinner-i-go-june-15-2006-i-am-55-90-pounds.html?nextdate=last&direction=n#viewcomments

  “Gossip805″ found my link on this site
  and left me a huge turd of words in which she COMPLETELY misjudged me and insulted me deeply and in every way.

  she could not have been MORE WRONG about ME and MY INTEN TIONS
  and ATTITUDE.

  I would have thought that just from my words on THIS SITE ALONE
  one would have been able to get a feel for what I am about….
  how loudly I speak AGAINST
  the idea of “anorexia as a trend”
  how FURIOUS wanarexia makes me,
  how sick I have been and how open I am about it so as to help others.

  Not that girl.
  She skimmed my photos and made a tremendous err in judgement.

  I am pissed.

• 87. nico  |  November 30th, 2006 at 10:27 pm

  By “this link”
  I meant the link to my site from this page.

  This page is how “gossip805″ found my xanga
  and proceeded to ignorantly attack me

• 88. nico  |  November 30th, 2006 at 10:35 pm

  so I guess for
  anyone who reads this blog and sees the link to my xanga and
  decides to pass judgement upon me,
  let me first explain my page to you:

  I am not proud to be anorexic at all.
  I post the pics for several reasons….

  a) to serve as an obsessive photo diary of my weight loss.
  It is typical of those with Body Dysmorphic Disorder
  to need constant reassurance about the flaw which they magnify(in my case, my weight)
  I find that when other disordered girls tell me how sick/skinny I look, I can try to believe them at least more than I would a healthy person. Also, rather than badgering my family and friends with “do i look thin? do i look fat”? 5 million times a day,
  I can get that out of my system in this forum.

  b) to show wanarexics what anorexia ACTUALLY looks like and that it DOES NOT look like ‘jessica alba’……

  c) I never am able to see myself as “very skinny”
  so it helps me to hear it from other disordered girls.
  I also find an artfulness in the physical manifestation of pain,
  a sort of photo explanation of what goes on in my head.
  Its my photo journal/diary…
  sometimes a photo is worth a thousand words.

  Basically,
  Why the hell should I be condemned for
  my honesty?
  My openness?
  My willingness to show myself and my internal obsessed struggle to maybe help another?
  to maybe help MYSELF?

• 89. R  |  December 1st, 2006 at 2:52 pm

  You should just ignore people like that. Who cares what they have to say.

  Hugs, darling

• 90. nico  |  December 1st, 2006 at 5:25 pm

  *shrugs*

  …after I posted that last comment here
  ANOTHER person came from this site to leave me a paragraph of ignorance.

• 91. R  |  December 2nd, 2006 at 1:55 pm

  Welcome to the internet. There’s always going to be trolls, trust me. Just ignore them, they just want to piss you off. You’ll see a lot more of that if your husband gets famous and the gossiping and intruding starts. I learned not to waste my time with that. It’s useless. Be above it.

  Hugs

• 92. nico  |  December 3rd, 2006 at 12:26 am

  r-

  Oh haha
  My hubby is already “famous” lol….
  Fortunately for us..
  My hubby is the “shy” one in his band
  Elefant.
  link:
  http://www.mtv.com/music/#/music/artist/elefant/artist.jhtml

  Theyre on MTV, VH1, always in Page6, in rolling stone magazine,in Vogue etc…
  The singer, Diego, dated Lindsay Lohan
  and Lileana Dominguez for starters lol

  I’ve had weird cyber stalkers telling me obscene things…
  but because my guy is the “good boy”,
  weve had to deal with much less than the other 3 guys have.

  I’m used to all that already.

  My mother is also in the public eye,
  (Kati Stern/ designer Venexiana)
  link:
  http://nymag.com/fashion/fashionshows/designers/bios/venexiana/

  Its the personal stuff about ME that is tough to stomach.
  All my other pages are private except for that
  xanga
  because nobody ever really found it outside of eating disorder forums,
  but now its just gone insane.

  I also have photos of my mother and my guy
  on that xanga
  that I dont want deranged fans stealing…
  so its just all quite overwhelming.

• 93. R  |  December 3rd, 2006 at 2:01 pm

  I apologise, I had never heard of that band! (which doesn’t mean anything, there’s lots of bands I haven’t heard of). OOPSY FORGIVE ME!! I guess I was puzzled because you have so much personal stuff online, I figured they were not famous otherwise you wouldn’t do that but now I understand (it was only in ed circles). I know how hard it is to not be able to trust anyone just cuz your guy or someone related to you is famous. It’s really not always that great. The stalking, the intruding, fake friends etc. Always having to be secretive about everything.

  I am sorry your only small bit of private space on the web got invaded.

• 94. R  |  December 3rd, 2006 at 8:55 pm

  B.t.w., that MTV link doesn’t seem to work?

• 95. nico  |  December 5th, 2006 at 10:28 pm

  http://www.mtv.com/music/artist/elefant/artist.jhtml#/music/artist/elefant/artist.jhtml
  Thats the MTV link…

  it works for me…
  it should work if you click on it

  ya, my other pages are private,
  and on this xanga i never really had anyone except from the eating disorder forums look at it…
  but now because of all the negative scrutiny i have to make it private….

  some more elefant links:
  vh1
  http://www.vh1.com/artists/az/elefant/artist.jhtml
  rolling stone magazine
  http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/elefant
  spin magazine
  http://www.spin.com/features/band_of_the_day/2006/04/060418_elefant/
  blender magazine
  http://www.blender.com/guide/artist.aspx?id=1051
  in vogue with kate moss
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/elevogue.jpg

  In rolling stone for Verizon
  http://www.reduxpictures.com/wordpress/wp-content/verizon-elefant.jpg

  

  My mum:
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/05.jpg
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/daily1.jpg
  venexiana in vogue
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/daily1.jpg
  rosario dawson in venexiana
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/Entertainment_Weekly.jpg
  beyonce knowles in venexiana
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/superfantazy.jpg
  kelly osbourne in venexiana
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/05.jpg
  womens wear daily:
  http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m188/venexiana/wwd2005.jpg

  You can view Venexiana
  on full frontal fashion, style network, etc..
  on this page:
  http://myspace.com/venexiana
  and
  at
  venexiana.us

  and you can check out elefant
  at
  elefantweb.com
  (dont forget to vote for their video “lolita” which was nominated
  for the Top 10 MTV “best of 06″!)

  

  hehe

• 96. nico  |  December 5th, 2006 at 10:37 pm

  http://www.mtv.com/music/artist/elefant/artist.jhtml#/music/artist/elefant/artist.jhtml
  Thats the MTV link…

  it works for me…
  it should work if you click on it

  ya, my other pages are private,
  uand on this xanga i never really had anyone except from the eating disorder forums look at it…
  but now because of all the negative scrutiny i have to make it private….

  some more elefant links:
  vh1
  http://www.vh1.com/artists/az/elefant/artist.jhtml
  rolling stone magazine
  http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/elefant
  spin magazine
  http://www.spin.com/features/band_of_the_day/2006/04/060418_elefant/
  blender magazine
  http://www.blender.com/guide/artist.aspx?id=1051
  in vogue with kate moss
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/elevogue.jpg

  In rolling stone for Verizon
  http://www.reduxpictures.com/wordpress/wp-content/verizon-elefant.jpg

  
  you can check out elefant
  at
  elefantweb.com
  (dont forget to vote for their video “lolita” which was nominated
  for the Top 10 MTV “best of 06″!)

  

  hehe

• 97. nico  |  December 5th, 2006 at 10:38 pm

  My mum:
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/05.jpg
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/daily1.jpg
  venexiana in vogue
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/daily1.jpg
  rosario dawson in venexiana
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/Entertainment_Weekly.jpg
  beyonce knowles in venexiana
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/superfantazy.jpg
  kelly osbourne in venexiana
  http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/megatronix/05.jpg
  womens wear daily:
  http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m188/venexiana/wwd2005.jpg

  You can view Venexiana
  on full frontal fashion, style network, etc..
  on this page:
  http://myspace.com/venexiana
  and
  at
  venexiana.us

• 98. R  |  December 8th, 2006 at 2:22 pm

  Hi girl, how are you doing?
  Thx for th