Paris Hilton Seeks New Best Friend Competition

March 12th, 2008

Pointless airhead socialite and part-time model Paris Hilton has today announced that she is seeking a new best friend, of the non-canine variety, who she can trust, swap clothes and tell girly secrets to.
Former state prisoner and porn-movie star Paris feels unable to attract a best friend via the usual channels of socialising, partying and forming bonds with like-minded morons and has instead opted to launch a self-publicising competition on MTV.
Viewers will be asked to vote for the saddo who most impresses them with videos, whole sentences, useless causes etc and that person will be catapulted into the limelight alongside Paris as her new best friend.
MTV are hoping that viewers will get into the spirit of the show and not vote a freak into the position just to prove a point and make Paris look even dumber than she already does.
The 20 finalists, assuming of course that 20 people actually enter the competition, will get to live with Paris and a camera crew so that Paris can choose and so the winner can get to taste a lifestyle where vagina-flashing outside Starbucks is the norm.
Paris former best friend Nicole Ritchie commented,” She was a great friend to me until I lost weight, when we couldn’t swap clothes any more she didn’t want to know.”
Paris former best friend Tinkerbell commented,”She called me a bitch every day, when I got too big and we couldn’t swap clothes any more she dropped me.”
Paris Hilton commented,”I’m looking for someone about the same size as me who’s interested in visiting Rwanda.”